At least that's my fantasy. In fact, the reality may not be that far off. Well, maybe not a swat team and maybe there wouldn't be a whole nest of bandits involved, but there is a recently renamed software product that , you know, promises pretty much that.

Absolute Software's LoJack for Laptops used to be called CompuTrace, and now it's back with a new name and a new identity. It's also in some respects a little scary. More on that , you know, in a moment.

Meanwhile, I did spend some time playing with LoJack for Laptops. The folks at Absolute Software delivered a disk to my office and, after a few glitches having to do with my outdated laptop software, I successfully installed it, made the appropriate calls to an 800-number in Vancouver, British Columbia. And lo and behold, they told me just where my laptop was located.

Load it onto your laptop, and it dials into a computer in Vancouver, it logs you on, registers your computer's serial number and who you are along with a password. Then, you sit back and wait for it to be stolen.

If that happens, that's when the "recovery team" kicks into action. Those are the go-to people. If your computer does walk out of your office, hotel room or the trunk of your car, you simply call the 800-number, or go to another computer, and report it stolen. Within seconds, your computer goes on Absolute Software's "most wanted" list.

It works like a charm, as soon as the bandits use your stolen laptop to go online. By the way, all the time your computer's been sitting in your office or den, it has been regularly checking in with its master in Vancouver. If the computer gets into the wrong hands and is reported stolen, Absolute's recovery team will see that status pop up on their screen.

Within seconds, Absolute can use one of three ways to determine where the wayward computer has gone. If it's a dial-up modem, it can tell what phone number the computer is using to get online, and trace the address. If it's broadband, it can track the IP address and then, with cooperation from the Internet Service Provider, locate the street address where the IP is installed. And then there's a third way that even John Livingston, Absolute's chairman and CEO won't tell us about.

"At the beginning, we wondered whether law enforcement would really care about laptops," Livingston confessed. "But they were very supportive. Property theft is a situation where they don't get a lot of success. But this is stolen property with a built-in electronic tip where it's located. They also realized that, in 5 per cent of the cases, the location they go to other criminal activity is taking place."

Last month, for instance, a distress call came from a laptop in McKinney, Texas. The local police stumbled onto a big chop-shop location with drugs and weapons. They also got the stolen computer back.

This is also one tough little piece of software. LoJack for Laptops-Absolute licensed the Lojack name from the car theft recovery company-can survive the entire stripping and reformatting of the hard disk. And, to make it even more invulnerable, most of the big laptop makers-IBM/Lenovo, Dell, Hewlett-Packard and Gateway-have just begun embedding a recovery chip on their system boards, so that even if the thief replaces the hard drive, the computer will still be able to make that SOS call.

Sounds a little like Arnold Schwarzenegger in The Terminator. You can almost hear the computer growling, "I'll be baaaack."

Which is where a few little concerns come in.

Now that's great, if you don't want your last five years' tax returns falling into the hands of a greedy whistle-blower. But, despite Livingstone's assurances, I was a little worried about just how much Tania in Absolute's recovery department was able to see on my hard drive back there in Vancouver.

Finally, there still isn't a version for Apple Macintosh computers, at least not a consumer version, though there is a corporate product. Absolute says one will be forthcoming by year's end.

And, when we tried to install the software on my wife's ancient Dell laptop, it didn't take to Windows98 operating system. There is a version that works on Windows98, but you have to get it straight from the Web site. Type www.lojackforlaptops.com. There'll be someone out there listening!

The 8525 (and the previous Cingular 8125) provide decent messaging capabilities, both with SMS text messaging as well as full blown POP email access.

However, some irritating quirks and limitations exist in the internal Windows Mobile Outlook software - which can cause baffling error message pop ups and strange behavior. Below are some quick fixes and tips to tame the Mobile Outlook beast within the 8525 mobile pocket PC device.

Cingular forces their Xpress mail personal email service and software. You really don't need it, the 8525 smart phone has the Windows Mobile operating system which includes the Windows Mobile Outlook email client. The Cingular Xpressmail setup is very easy to setup however, so if one is a techno-phobe it may be the preferred option.

To save time and headaches later, ensure you select the correct format (POP or IMAP) and select a short and meaningful name for each connection (instead of the default POP3) - since these two options CANNOT BE CHANGED AFTERWARDS. Enter the login name and password and check the STORE box, or it will drive you crazy later.

After completing the options setup for the mail account, your 8525 device will ask if you want to download mail. SAY NO! If you have other mail accounts, set them up now, always saying NO to download new mail after each is complete.

There is some weird problem with the Windows Mobile Outlook software, the settings that you have entered have not actually taken effect yet. Press and HOLD the power button till the phone grumbles about being shut down - say YES. Wait a few seconds till it finally dozes off. Then use the stylus and poke the reboot button (the little hole next to the USB) and wait for the Cingular 8525 to restart.

Before you can pick up mail - yet another bug has to be squashed in the 8525 email Outlook client. Send an email to yourself on your desktop PC. If no mail is found the first time, mobile Outlook will constantly give "Messages could not be downloaded" errors. Finally, go to Messaging on your Cingular 8525 mobile PDA device and tap MENU, tap SEND RECEIVE MAIL on the pocket PC. With any luck, your initial test email will be picked up. Repeat for all mail accounts setup on the 8525 phone. Once you can receive email, try sending an email outbound.

If you get mail errors, go into the OPTIONS and tap the mail account, ensure all settings and passwords are correct, then save, power off, reboot and try again. It will eventually work, so be patient with it!

While the 8525 device does have a camera, its main function is a Pocket PC. The camera has reasonable quality given this fact, but it does have a plethora of quirks. The focusing leaves a lot to be desired, on 2M picture mode (the largest resolution) the focusing is virtually non-functional. A tiny lever around the lens switches from NORMAL to MACRO mode, it provides some level of focusing but is totally inadequate. In addition, there is no zoom in 2 Meg mode. This means the 2M mode is unusable for most practical purposes, and even the 1M mode has focusing problems, although one level of zoom is available (2X).

At S(mall), M(edium) and L(arge) modes, focusing works reasonably well and progressively larger zooming is available. Still, that NORMAL/MACRO lever around the lens is constantly getting nudged around (it sticks out) and one has to keep checking to ensure it is in the right place before taking any pictures.

When the camera detects a memory card, it cleverly asks if you wish to store pictures there - say YES. The still camera modes are weird, the image of the camera is the regular mode for normal pictures. Check the user manual for details on the other modes, if you ever plan on using them. The LED flash is virtually useless unless you are right next to the subject, it just drains your battery.

The picture quality is reasonable, outdoor (and well lit) images are better than indoor (unlit) images. Again, the Cingular 8525 ain't no high end camera - its a fantastic pocket PC that just happens to have a convenient camera built in.

Another quirk with the 8525 video camera is the format that it saves. Video files are saved with a .MP4 extension. RealPlayer and Microsoft Media Player are able to playback these videos, but other mobile devices (such as Sony Ericsson) don't understand it. The options screen for the 8525 video camera do have a selection for video formats - however only MP4 is listed there. Future Windows Mobile updates or Cingular updates may provide additional video formats for saving (such as MPEG).

Pictures and videos taken on the 8525 pocket PC PDA can, obviously, be seen on its own screen - and can easily be transferred to other devices/desktops. When using the ActiveSync syncronization software, the media files can simply be copied over to the desktop PC over USB, InfraRed (IR) or Bluetooth.

In addition, images and videos can be sent to others by email or MMS (if a suitable data plan permits it). But for the kid within us who loves to play with toys - the 8525 pocket PC also allows you to BEAM the image over Bluetooth to any other compatible Bluetooth mobile device within range! While it would be fun to send weird pictures to total strangers, it is probably more fun (and safer) to send it to someone you know. The recipient will have to accept the connection before the image or video is actually sent. Its a quick and easy way to share photos and videos on-the-fly with other family members that are also Bluetooth equipped.